Summer.

Today feels like summer.

Summer is one of the most beautiful times of year to me. My birthday is near the end of the season, my family has always vacationed in North Carolina every June, and I always feel very free. The open air, the heat that feels like it radiates from inside you, the endless amount of sunshine, the fluorescent blue sky, the amazing green of the grass, flowers everywhere. The weather makes me feel like everything is waiting for me and I can have it if I just leave my room.

I sit here in the living room of my family's house. They are not my blood family, but they love me, take care of me, laugh with me and at me, listen to me when I need an open ear, hold me when I cry. They are truly indescribable. Helen and Brie are sisters. Helen is a year younger than me and Brie is a year older. I met Helen on my first day of high school. She walked into my Science class with Miss Lee with a storm about her. She looked like she was ready to fight anybody who even glanced in her direction. Her hair was pulled back, not in vanity, but in an attempt to keep it out of her face. She wore mens jeans that were far too large for her and a red shirt, with sleeves that only came down to her elbows. I never imagined she would be my better half.

Helen's eyes are a piercing shade of blue. They're the color of an iceberg when she's enraged, the color of a bluebell when she smiles, and the color of rain when she's distressed. Sometimes the only way I can describe her is goofy. She sings off key purposefully, dances in place when she's bored. She is one of the most compassionate people I've ever known. I have broken every rule she has for people and yet she always lets me find my way back to her. She knows the most about me. I love her more than I could ever put into any amount of words.

Kit is upstairs in the shower. For having such a short stature and such short hair she manages to take the longest in the bathroom out of the four of us. Kit has short dark hair that she parts on the side and straightens. Her long bangs cover her right eye. She's a little bit heavier and wears mostly mens clothing. Kit is a lesbian and we've always known. She's got a bright smile and sad eyes. How could I forget, her boobs are massive. Massive. I have never seen boobs as big as Kit's.

I'm getting off track. Today feels like summer. It is January 22, but it's hovering somewhere around 40 degrees. The sky was open and bright for a while. You could see the pale blue of the sky while I smoked at work. It feels like summer, though, because all of the blinds in the house are open. The deck door isn't covered by the drapes. And we are all here together. Just like summers past. Just like before heroin.

This last statement was not meant to be sad, but hopeful. I had this before heroin destroyed everything I ever worked for. Dope took me to places I never would have put myself. I lost everyone and everything, especially myself. And I have it back. I have my family. We are here together, on this pseudo summer day, and I am happy. I am completely and truly happy. I never imagined I'd be happy. And I am. I am so happy.