I should probably call my sponsor.

Sometimes I feel so ugly I don't want to leave the house.
Sometimes I feel so tired I can't physically open my eyes.
Sometimes I feel so depressed that I don't want to do a single thing that I know will make me happy.
Sometimes I feel so angry I want to wrap my tiny, delicate hands around someone's neck and squeeze until they go limp.
Sometimes I feel so lonely that I want to be by myself until I die.


Today is one of those days. I don't want to do what I know will help me. I don't want to get over this, I want to sit and stew. I want to dwell on my indescribable pain. I hurt so bad today. I want to cry, but I don't feel like talking about what's wrong with me.



I miss being a junkie sometimes. I miss the comfort in being sad.